Life via Text

A conversation over text:


Me: You know, I really am undecided on that whole do I want kids thing. One one hand I LOVE Aubrey on the other hand I just yelled at some neighborhood kid, "Get out of the street you little asshole!"


Flutter: OMG I HEART you.


In my defense, the little jerks darling little boys were playing football in the street. Okay, no problem. But then the cars came (there was a car in front of us) and we slowed down waiting for them to get the hell out of the street already move aside politely. And one kid runs in the middle of the street in front of the other car (like following the road) and another one is standing enough of the way over that he's technically out of the way, but still in the street. And the little f*cker is raising his arms up at the two cars like, "What?!" and I'm thinking, Oh no he didn't! So I take the time to roll down the window to call him an asshole.

I am justified in this because:
1) he was totally being a little asshole
2) he was 8/9 which is old enough to know to get out of the street
3) I know he's probably heard that kind of language before considering his parents are obviously really bad at parenting because they leave him outside to be disrespectful and to run around in the streets.
::takes a breath::

I did however, have enough heart to feel bad once it was over. I was totally impressed by the little bastard because he was nice enough to not flip me off.

Karaoke is the New Gameshow

So, apparently the latest craze in gameshows is singing. And lyrics. After LOVING the Singing Bee on Tuesday night, I stayed tuned (after So You Think You Can Dance) (speaking of which, OMG I'm loving Kameron and Lacy...they were so awesome. And Kameron looks like Jess from Gilmore Girls, which tickles me. hehe) oh, so where was I? Oh yeah.

I watched the next new gameshow...Don't Forget the Lyrics (or something like that). Basically it's like Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. One contestant has to correctly sing the lyrics to like 10 different songs and as they finish one song they get money and they can choose to go on or to quit. They get to choose the genre (pop, divas, classic rock, etc) and then they get to pick between two songs that come up in that category. There are lifelines (er, Backups! Like the singers! awwww.)

Did I mention that they make them sing like almost a minute of the song and then cut the music and they finish the lyrics? So you have to listen to them sing? ACK! The contestant last night was ADORABLE. She was a cross between (the not crazy) Katie Holmes and Natalie Portman. However, she likes bugs and said she'd buy a microscope and the biggest ant farm she could buy with $25,000. (I told Mark we should adopt her and let her play in our backyard since there are a frillion ants out there feasting on Chance's dog food.)

But yeah, did I mention that she CAN'T SING FOR CRAP? OMG It's HORRIBLE. But she does this "on the good ship lollipop" sway/dance while she sings and she's so cute....I just felt embarrassed for her. Mark says, "it's all about having fun! And she's having fun!" I called bullsh*t on that one, pointing out that if we were at karaoke and someone sang like her he'd be making fun of her just as much as I would. He tried to hide a smile - and then agreed.

I think the show would be better if there was more than one contestant - only because listening to one persons squeaky voice for an entire 30 minutes could totally grate on one's nerves. And Wayne Brady was kind of funny - but he didn't do the bye bye bye dance. ::sigh::

*****

Also, what type of person thinks that 4:10 a.m. is a GREAT time for setting off firecrackers? Apparently one of my neighbors. But seriously, it was Wednesday. Not even the weekend. And 4:10 is like a time when most people are asleep. Like, no one gets up that early...and if you've been partying all night - well, you've usually passed out by 4:00 a.m. wouldn't you think?
Hmm...