Friday, April 10, 2009

More People No One Cares About

While I was home sick this week, I spent quality time watching educational television. Or you know, watching Tyra.

On Monday, she had on Levi Johnston. And you're all, "who?" And I'm like, "You know, Bristol's baby daddy." And you're all, "Bristol? What kind of name is that?" And I'm like, "sigh"

Bristol Palen's baby daddy and his mother and sister. I don't even know his mother's name, but his sister's name is Mercede. If you can't afford the whole Mercedes, perhaps you should consider a shorter name. Like Chevy or Ford.

But I digress.

So Levi has this to say, "mumble mumble yeah she knew we were having sex, mumble, careful every time, mumblemumblemumble, well maybe not every time." (his grammar was even worse than Tyra's!)

And Tyra is like, "so why'd you break up? what's this tattoo? oh, it's Bristol's name? Does she have a tattoo of your name?"
Um no...she got a ring (smart girl!)

And the sister pipes in with, "but i have his name tattooed here" (shows her wrist)

What kind of backwoods deliverance family is this? Seriously? I would have been less disgusted if she had tattooed "My other car is a moose" across her forehead.

Tyra would also like to make it clear that they were not paid to appear on her show. They just really wanted to get their story out.

You know, about how the mother was supposed to have the baby to babysit, but for some reason she isn't allowed to babysit anymore. Oh yeah, and she can't comment on her DRUG ARREST.

Now you're wondering, "Aimee-enchalada, why on earth didn't you just change the channel" and I'm all, "::cold medicine slur:: the remote is too far away. I'm siiiiick."

Besides, it was still more educational than Pretty Wicked.


Brahmin in Boston said...

This takes the cake for the funniest post!


Last Comic Standing said...

Comedy gold baby! Good job!

If you can't afford the whole Mercedes, perhaps you should consider a shorter name. Like Chevy or Ford.

Freckle Face Girl said...

Sometimes it is nice to watch those shows to remind you HOW WONDERFUL YOUR LIFE IS! :)

Hope you are feeling better.

Carrie said...

I was totally not understanding this whole post and then I got it. I guess I kinda blocked that whole mess out after the election. Then Lindsey mentioned it on Facebook. Maybe it is the lack of sunlight or maybe oxygen. LOL

I was home too but I just watched a bunch of movies on Netflix instantly.

Miss Yvonne said...

Whenever I hear the name Bristol, I think of that old song that I think is called the bristol hop...or stomp, or something like that.

The sister tattooing the brothers name on her wrist is very deliverance-y. Squeal like a pig, Mercede!

Julie said...


Okay seriously.
How effed up is that family.

Anonymous said...

I've never heard of these people... I guess I better do some google research.

I love your Mercedes comment. LMAO

spitandvinegar said...

Tyra is the worst. Cold medicine is the best.

Lindsey said...

Um, somehow I am completely addicted to Bristol and her family. I don't even like them, but it's a sick, sick addiction!!!! I feel like only you would understand me.