Wednesday, June 3, 2009

I Love Games

What actually happened:

Today, while mom and I were at Target, I did a double take. A woman walked past, and I did a double take. I felt bad for her because it appeared she had forgotten to put on pants before she left the house.

She was walking into the dressing room - and was probably all the way to a room when I heard "what are you looking at?" I think I was too far away for her to be talking to me - unless she was really passive aggressive. Besides, there were lots of people around that were probably looking at her and wondering, "do I have enough coin to buy some of that?!"

I have really good ears though - and I swear she had to have been in her room....and I was already in the men's department when I heard her say "fatty."

Now, I still assumed she could have been talking to me; but I don't know that that's true because the dressing room attendant wasn't a small girl, and neither were like 90% of the other customers.

I almost wish I would have known that she was talking to me (or that she had been talking to me). Because then it could have gone more like this:

"What are you looking it?!"

"omg I love games! Okay. Well...A hooker? hahaha. No seriously, I just wanted to tell you that you forgot your pants. They sell them here. You should get some. they are nice."

"Fatty!"

"Honey, I'm owning my look. It appears to me that someone is walking around in denial about the extra 40 pounds she's carrying around in her ass. perhaps someone forgot to empty her saddle bags? Seriously though, say it with me....PANTS"

7 comments:

Mrs. F said...

OMG, you are so funny. I wish you would have had the "In your head" conversation with her. It would have been AWESOME!!!!!

Reinvent Dad said...

How bizarre...my wife and I were at Chevy's a few weeks ago, and a fat younger woman had a skirt on that if she bent over in the slightest, anyone and everyone could easily see her goods....NOT appetizing...I second you "pants" with a big please at the end......

Julie said...

Okay wait..

Was she not wearing pants???
Or was she wearing hot pants??

Either way you should of cut her.

Miss Yvonne said...

That is so weird. No pants? Dang it, why can't I see stuff like that???

Drea said...

How does anyone for get to put on pants before going out???!! I don't think I could've been in your shoes. I can't control my facial expressions.

Thanks for sharing!

Emily said...

Oooo....I have seen Aimee in a verbal sparing match....she wins. Always. This poor pantless girl should consider herself lucky that she did not bring down that wrath.

Lindsey said...

No pants? That is so odd. I totally wish you could have talked to her and given her some attitude. That would have been hilarious.