A Post With a Tie In

I'm pretty excited because 1) it's been forever since I've blogged and I actually came up with something that I think you will want to weigh in on and 2) that I have an actual tie-in because I've been so lazy and watching awful TV all week.

As you know, my life has become "all things wedding" - you know, between bitching about work and going to book club. While surfing the knot at work (shuddup), I noticed a link to a groom's site called "the plunge." It sounded interesting, so I checked it out.

Most of the advice was pretty right on. For example, including a female friend in the wedding and fighting to have that friend in the wedding. Unless you've slept with her. Then no. Not even if the bride to be says it's okay. It will NEVER be okay. Well done The Plunge.

Then I moved onto the article about the groomsmen responsibilities. One of which is making sure that the groom doesn't cross "the cheating line" at the bachelor party. The article linked to other articles that explained certain areas in detail. Such as exactly where that cheating line is. It basically ranked different types of cheating - and the author indicated that his threshold is kissing. Kissing is definitely cheating. But innocent flirting wasn't. He also ranked having sex with a random girl as worse than having sex with a stripper. Which, I also agree with. I mean, sex with a real girl could lead to something like a relationship. Sex with a stripper leads you to the poor house.

Of course, the next link was too - I cheated, now what?! Okay, so ideally, your groom to be wouldn't cheat. But, the article talks about how depending on what line was crossed, how the groom should handle it. Most of the advice was to "let it lie" (read: don't tell). I was horrified. But then I thought about it some more. I'm definitely not condoning it, nor am I giving someone permission to have one last fling - but really, I can see where not much good would come from telling the bride about an indiscretion that was a one-time, alcohol induced mistake.

And the other side of me says, he better tell her. And she better kick him in the balls.

I think the real problem is that if he cheated, (a one-time dumb thing), at a bachelor party...there are too many other people who know about it for it to remain a secret forever. It's just not possible. Someone will tell their wife/girlfriend and word will get back to the bride, and then oh crap will there be hell to pay! Besides, if anyone else knew about it, and the bride found out later, she'd feel like everyone's been looking at her like she's an idiot. If there were guarantees in life, one of which being that no one will ever find out that you were a scumbag, then I'd agree to let it lie. Especially if it were just a kiss. Don't do it. But if you do, don't tell us.

For example, on Paris Hilton's My New BFF (see! awful TV!), Paris had her BFF Wannabees throw a bachelor party for one of her friends. During the party, one of the girls "beat him with her vagina" in the worlds most puke-evoking lap dance; while another girl kissed the groom after he bellowed to the crowd "I need one last REAL GOOD kiss."

They revealed their indiscretion to his fiance the next morning in a "walk of shame" meeting where they berated the kissing wannabee. Needless to say, the Fiance was NOT HAPPY. She accepted the girl's apology and told him "they have some things to talk about." THIS, would have been a good time to not have the whole thing on tape. You could have just let it go. I mean, the fiance had to be pretty clueless considering she is/was going to marry a guy who is FRIENDS WITH PARIS HILTON. A guy who's bachelor party was thrown by Paris Hilton. THIS was perhaps your first of several clues that maybe this guy wasn't marriage material.

So tell me - where do you fall in this debate?

Also - disclaimer - this has nothing to do with what Mark may or may not have planned for his bachelor party. He and his friends are all good guys, and I don't anticipate him needing to refer to these articles except for entertainment. :)