A Post With a Tie In

I'm pretty excited because 1) it's been forever since I've blogged and I actually came up with something that I think you will want to weigh in on and 2) that I have an actual tie-in because I've been so lazy and watching awful TV all week.

As you know, my life has become "all things wedding" - you know, between bitching about work and going to book club. While surfing the knot at work (shuddup), I noticed a link to a groom's site called "the plunge." It sounded interesting, so I checked it out.

Most of the advice was pretty right on. For example, including a female friend in the wedding and fighting to have that friend in the wedding. Unless you've slept with her. Then no. Not even if the bride to be says it's okay. It will NEVER be okay. Well done The Plunge.

Then I moved onto the article about the groomsmen responsibilities. One of which is making sure that the groom doesn't cross "the cheating line" at the bachelor party. The article linked to other articles that explained certain areas in detail. Such as exactly where that cheating line is. It basically ranked different types of cheating - and the author indicated that his threshold is kissing. Kissing is definitely cheating. But innocent flirting wasn't. He also ranked having sex with a random girl as worse than having sex with a stripper. Which, I also agree with. I mean, sex with a real girl could lead to something like a relationship. Sex with a stripper leads you to the poor house.

Of course, the next link was too - I cheated, now what?! Okay, so ideally, your groom to be wouldn't cheat. But, the article talks about how depending on what line was crossed, how the groom should handle it. Most of the advice was to "let it lie" (read: don't tell). I was horrified. But then I thought about it some more. I'm definitely not condoning it, nor am I giving someone permission to have one last fling - but really, I can see where not much good would come from telling the bride about an indiscretion that was a one-time, alcohol induced mistake.

And the other side of me says, he better tell her. And she better kick him in the balls.

I think the real problem is that if he cheated, (a one-time dumb thing), at a bachelor party...there are too many other people who know about it for it to remain a secret forever. It's just not possible. Someone will tell their wife/girlfriend and word will get back to the bride, and then oh crap will there be hell to pay! Besides, if anyone else knew about it, and the bride found out later, she'd feel like everyone's been looking at her like she's an idiot. If there were guarantees in life, one of which being that no one will ever find out that you were a scumbag, then I'd agree to let it lie. Especially if it were just a kiss. Don't do it. But if you do, don't tell us.

For example, on Paris Hilton's My New BFF (see! awful TV!), Paris had her BFF Wannabees throw a bachelor party for one of her friends. During the party, one of the girls "beat him with her vagina" in the worlds most puke-evoking lap dance; while another girl kissed the groom after he bellowed to the crowd "I need one last REAL GOOD kiss."

They revealed their indiscretion to his fiance the next morning in a "walk of shame" meeting where they berated the kissing wannabee. Needless to say, the Fiance was NOT HAPPY. She accepted the girl's apology and told him "they have some things to talk about." THIS, would have been a good time to not have the whole thing on tape. You could have just let it go. I mean, the fiance had to be pretty clueless considering she is/was going to marry a guy who is FRIENDS WITH PARIS HILTON. A guy who's bachelor party was thrown by Paris Hilton. THIS was perhaps your first of several clues that maybe this guy wasn't marriage material.

So tell me - where do you fall in this debate?

Also - disclaimer - this has nothing to do with what Mark may or may not have planned for his bachelor party. He and his friends are all good guys, and I don't anticipate him needing to refer to these articles except for entertainment. :)

Not The Best Way to Announce an Engagement

My friend's parents live down the street from us. I don't see them often, or visit ever. However, I had to make a hasty visit on Sunday.

Mark and I went to leave the house at the same time on Sunday morning, but we were going to separate places. We locked the front door and the security screen and left.

So I thought.

Later, after taking Abby to the groomer, stopping by work to pick up a project binder that I needed to work from home, and grabbing lunch; I headed home.

When I got there - the security screen was open. I thought, "that's odd" and I was nervous about it. So I decided to try the doorknob to see if the front door was also open. AND IT WAS! I only opened it about two inches and then I RAAAAAAN down the driveway my 300 pound binder, while whispering to myself, "OMG.omg.omgomgomg."

By the time I drove the block to my friend's parents' house, I was crying. They answered the door, and the husband called the police. Then I called Mark. He was on his way home, and he said, "you know, I might have left it unlocked." Um, well I'm not going in to find out....so hurry home.

The husband went down to meet the police (who didn't show up even 20 minutes later when Mark got home). So while we waited, I worried. And I talked to the wife. I hadn't seen her since we got engaged, so we talked wedding and oohed and aahed over my bling. It was a nice distraction.

Once we knew Mark and her husband had made it down there, we drove down to meet the boys at our house, and Mark determined that it was clear inside and that yeah, he totally just left the door unlocked. Apparently he had forgotten his work keys (he was also going to the office) and he came in frantically looking for them so he could go and hurry up and get done what he needed to do. And in his haste, he left the door unlocked. And almost gave his future bride a heart attack.

Does She Look Like??? - THIS!

Last night at bowling, I spotted a girl. This girl might have been cute in the 90s. But today, she looked like a hood skank. Not a hood rat. She was thin and had long light brown hair that was just plain. she had on flip flops, tight jeans, and a tank top.

I pointed her out to Mark and said, "She looks like someone you might have dated - in like 1992" (read: someone who would like to ride around in a camaro.)

His reply, "I wasn't dating in 1992."

"Unless she looks like.....

THIS!"

I'm still laughing.

Cranium Takes a Tragic Turn

Last night, Mark and I had another couple (B & K) over for dinner. We made tacos, beans, rice, homemade chips, Mark's fresh homemade guacamole, etc etc. Dinner was scrumdillyumpsious. (yes, that's totally a word).

And everything was calm.

And surprisingly normal.

And then there was Cranium.

While we waited for B's dessert to cook (peanut butter chip chocolate brownies), we played Cranium. And we found out why we should never play boys against girls. Or why, perhaps, boys never play board games with each other unless their girlfriends make them. (Unless it's monopoly, which is it's own animal).

Everything was going fine, (and clean!) until K had to do a charade number. He began sashaying across the living room shaking his butt and holding a candle holder like a martini glass. And the girls are laughing and Mark is like, "WTF?"

So, K tries another approach. He points at his crotch.

Um, "penis?"

Then he puts his hand on his rump and pulls it back like he has a ...

"tail?"

"COCKTAIL!!"

Points at his chest and slides his hands down his front.

"dress!"

Cocktail dress.

OMG.