Such a Pretty Fat Book Signing

Last week my friend Kaitlin and I went to see Jen Lancaster in San Francisco for a book signing. SF is about an hour and a half drive here (if you do above the speed limit)* And the City SUCKS. Cities that make sense are built on a grid. Letters go one way, numbers go another, etc etc. San Francisco looks like the engineers just randomly sent some guys out to pour asphalt to make streets. It's all willy-nilly. And then the decision was apparently made to create areas that have awesome shopping. These areas are very close to one another, however, they seem like they are miles apart. Also, they put in 500 huge stores and no parking lots. Hate you SF!

(Note to Jenny: I am still making the supreme sacrifice of going into the city once again to see you in July. You can take this as the highest compliment EVER. Even if black shoes DON'T go with everything.)

Once we found the bookstore where the signing would take place, we found a parking space (on the street) about 40 blocks away and hiked in. First plan was to swing by and see if there were people at the bookstore yet (nope). So we had dinner. After some caffeine and awesome parmesan and garlic focacia, we were back to being happy campers. After onion strings and entrees we were ready for naps.

Instead, we headed back to the bookstore. We were still the first ones there. (it was like 6:00 or so). I felt bad that I wasn't going to be buying Jen's book at the signing so I bought two other books instead. (the Memory Keepers Daughter and Otherwise Engaged, which is kind of crappy). Right around 6:45 the staff at the store had finished setting up chairs, so we sat down to wait for Jen's arrival.

A brief background on my feelings about Jen. She's wicked funny. I loved Bitter is the New Black. However, I didn't so much like Bright Lights Big Ass. I felt like the 2nd book really just laid out how mean spirited she was and I didn't find her very likeable. In Such a Pretty Fat, she completely redeems herself though and morphs into a snarky, yet no really mean, girl that I totally love.

However, I do not love her (or anyone) enough to try to be JUST LIKE THEM.

The difference between Kaitlin and I and 85 percent of the other women at the book signing? We were not trying to clone the author. We didn't come wearing the signature pearls nor did we bring signs proclaiming our undying devotion to hating "fucktards."

We did however realize that we really aren't that big of fans of other women. (Have I thanked you all for being so normal? If not, Thank you!)

Anyway, the signing went well. Jen did a reading from the new book and answered some questions. Apparently her next book will be titled "Pretty in Plaid." And my favorite moment of the reading/Q&A came when someone in the crowd asked "why pretty in plaid? why not pretty in pearls?" (as she fingers the strand around her neck). Jen's reply? "because I like Pretty in Plaid" (with a big old DUH at the end). HEART.

I'm pretty sure I mentioned here that I was included in Such a Pretty Fat's acknowledgments as being part of the postcard posse. Chance also got a mention. So I brought a photo of Chance to show Jen. She asked if she could keep it, and so I let her. She said she wanted to put it up at home. So, Chance is joining what I'm sure are the many photos of Loki and Mazi. (I'm totally spelling these wrong but am too lazy to double check the spelling of her dogs names).

Overall it was totally worth it. Jen was entertaining and interesting. I had never been to a book signing before and I'm not sure I'd ever do it again. But it was worth the effort this time for sure.

*When being pulled over by a highway patrolman and he asks, "do you know what the speed limit is?" the correct answer is NEVER 75. Apparently there are no streets/highways/etc with a speed limit that high in California. Who knew?**

**When the officer asks, "don't you read signs" it is okay to reply with, "as a matter of fact I was reading the sign for the carpool lane because in Sacramento carpool is two people and carpool here is three and I had 10 more minutes to be in that lane because it doesn't start till 3. Don't I get points for that???"***

***And no, he didn't give me a ticket. Though, he did NOT find me as funny as I found me. (luckily I knew better than to respond with "It is completely out of character and a miracle" when the officer said, "your friend is quiet." I do have that much sense, people.)****

****Highway Patrolmen do not know who Jen Lancaster is and they need to be schooled.

Guilty Pleasure

Did anyone else watch the new game show The Singing Bee? Are you too ashamed to admit that you did in fact sit and watch it for the full 30 minutes? Stand up and be proud! This show is GREAT FUN!

The Major pluses include:

The ever adorable Joey Fatone! I just wanna squeeze him. ::squeeeeeze::

The dorky contestants!

The "can't carry a tune in a bucket"-ness of it all!

The horrible "Bee Dancers" who remind me much of my two friends and I in fourth grade. We were the All American Girls and we would choreograph "dances" and "routines" and we would dress up and paint flags on our faces and "perform" for the 3rd graders just because we wanted to.

The fact that while I can't remember anything from my Geometry or History classes, I can remember every word to Paula Abdul's "Straight Up" (and yes, I got a LOOK for knowing that one)

Also, Joey did the "bye bye bye" dance. (which Mark secretly does too - only it's not a secret anymore - and he totally reads this blog or else I'd tell you not to mention it).

Heee!