Thursday, June 28, 2007

Fascination

Mad TV has a character named Stuart that I just ADORE. The skit is always hilarious and he's so, uh, creepy looking. I think he's fabulous. He's a man who is supposed to be a little boy...a little boy that is always getting into some sort of situation that requires him to repeat "what mama always says."

In one sketch, he is kidnapped. He was lured away by a woman who told him he could see chickens. He begged and begged to see the chickens because, "Chickens fascinate me."

That is how I feel about lesbians. Not the scary 400 pound, mustard-stained wifebeater wearing ones that we saw at the bar making out on St. Patrick's Day. And not the pretty ones who you would never be able to tell they are lesbians. I'm fascinated by the ones who wear the flock of seagulls hairdo.

Now, before anyone gets too excited, I'm not interested in being a lesbian (hear that Lindsey! Stop sending me those pervy emails! LOL) I think I'm fascinated with the middle of the road, not lipstick, not butchy lesbian because it's such a fine line they walk. One flannel shirt and it's all over for them. They've lost their mystique.

The only reason I thought of this is because there is a woman in my office who is obviously not into boys. She's got great (lesbian) hair and wears the weirdest stuff. She's not conventionally attractive, but I can see where there is something about her that attracts attention. And it got me thinking that I have known quite a few women just like her. My old boss, a woman from bowling (speaking of flock of seagulls).

I'm not sure where my flirtatious lesbian karaoke dj comes into the equation though...she had non-lesbian hair. lol

I think I thought about all this because I was thinking about karaoke...and I was thinking about something a gay (guy) friend said. "Straight women love me, straight men hate me, and the gays think I'm an enigma." It's then that I realized, straight women (mostly) like me, straight men like my rack, and the gays LOVE me.

*****

Thank you all for your happy thoughts. Mark and I were able to go and visit grandma yesterday and she's in pretty good spirits (though drugs will often do that to you). I think Mark is feeling a little better and will probably go see her again tonight. Thanks again for being such great friends!

15 comments:

For the Love... said...

You are too funny, seriously I have not seen anyone since that episode of Friends with Flock Of Seagulls hair!!!!!! Can you imagine how it takes to get your hair to do that?

Glad Grandma seems to be feeling better, keeping you in my thoughts....

Carrie said...

I attract them like flies to honey too. I think it is because I don't judge and that I am not girly AT ALL. Straight women generally don't like me. I think it is because I am fuckin hot that they are jealous. lol So I stick with my lesbo friends.

I got one for you. Both my niece and best friend are middle of the road lesbians. They both chopped off their hair at one point but now look like straight chicks. I asked my niece, "why do you guys dress like men, act like men, walk like men?" She said, "We are evolving". lol

Random Karaoke DJ said...

All women are no more than 3 shots away from a lesbian encounter!

Aimee said...

Who knew there was such an influx of random karaoke lesbian djs?
Hmph.

why do I suspect this is Mark? LOL

B. Good said...

Yeah, they fascinate me too. Oh, to be a fly on the wall......

(not sure which wall I wanna be on, but I'll work out those details at a later time, lol)

Carrie said...

ROFLMAO!!! Is it Mark? Will the Mark, please stand up, please stand up.

L Sass said...

What? Why don't any lesbians want to be friends with meeeeee?

Carrie said...

Oh and I have 2 lesbian blogger friends and 1 gay blogger. How diverse am I?

I don't know why I keep coming here. This is crazy. Sorry Aimee. I'll leave now.

Anonymous said...

Hi, Nice stuff. I found a cool news widget for our blogs at www.widgetmate.com. Now I can show the latest news on my blog. Worked like a breeze.

Aimee said...

I think anonymous is very generous with the compliments. I mean, Nice stuff! thanks! (I'm assuming this person is referring to my rack - it is generally appreciated by all, gay/straight/male/female. LOL

And yeah, Carrie - go away for like 10 minutes. I'll see you in a few. LOL (you come back because you, too, are fascinated)

Cece said...

I'm drawn to lesbian women too! Although Mister would like me to be a *wee* bit closer to them. Um...no. lol

I've got an older, Mexican, lesbian friend at work & she's awesome! We can sit & BS forever & once I even caught her checking out my tits! HA! And when I had lost like 40lbs she was all "Looking goood, Cece, looking good!" I felt good then I got scared. lol

Butch-Dykes scare me. I'm too small for them & I think that's what grabs their attention!

Julie said...

This post made me laugh my ass off...
Which seems to be a recurring theme here...

Tim loves that character from MAD TV and he often quotes him.
Frankly it creeps me out...

Horrible Warning said...

Straight women like your rack, too. That is why you offer to let us touch it.

Wait, that was another thing you forgot about camping, wasn't it? That you offered me one side and Bree Bop the other. Not that you actually went through with it. Tease.

On a serious note, good thoughts to Mark and his grandma.

God, now all I can think is: Word to your mutha. I'm weird.

Lindsey said...

pervy4life

You love my lesbian-esque
e-mails. That's just how I roll. :-)

I'm glad Mark's grandparents are doing okay. I'll thinking about you guys and hoping for the best.

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