Wednesday, September 19, 2007

America's Next Top Model!

So, who else was all excited about ANTM and was, subsequently disappointed by the lackluster season premier? ::waving my hand in the air::

I'm bored already. Although, you know that I love me a makeover - so I expect some tears and whatnot in a couple weeks. For now, the lineup is:

Janet - the girl with the pixie haircut who really just looks like an even less attractive version of Sarah from cycle 8.

Ambreal - who, in addition to having a fucked up name, thinks that wearing the legs of her jeans as leg warmers is cute. And yeah, that's pretty much all I got from her in 60 minutes.

Chantal - who has the tiniest waist ever, but that might be because she has birthing hips.

Heather - the girl with Asperger's, beautiful blue eyes, and who takes awesome pictures despite hunching her shoulders.

Saleisha - a cute girl, but nothing special

Victoria - who, at first I thought looked like Blossom, but who really looks like a slightly less attractive Paris from the Gilmore Girls. She's interesting looking, but reminds me of Brooke from cycle 7.

Mila - who has a very round face and who is like, really, really, super DUPER positive!

Jenah - who takes pretty pictures, but isn't very pretty in person - she almost looks like Mackenzie Phillips, who is DECIDEDLY VERY uncute.

Sarah - is a "regular" size model. Too big for "top model" and too small for "plus" (read: she looks like normal people!) She's cute, but a bit quirky.

Ebony - the black bitch that Tyra says she doesn't want to cast, and yet, somehow, she always does. Unfortunately, she's really pretty.

Lisa - the exotic (but not nekkid) dancer, who isn't that cute in person, but takes pretty good photos, and for some reason, is somewhat endearing. For a tramp.

Bianca - with the $25 weave and purple bangs. She's pretty too. I can't wait for her makeover

Kimberly - Is totally not remarkable. I don't remember much about her other than she screams to let off steam.

and you know, I could totally be wrong about all of this because, frankly, I wasn't paying much attention. The best note that I took in those 60 minutes was "Tyra is out of her damn mind" (please see: showgirl routine).

So, my guess for top three are: Heather, Bianca, and Victoria (see, I almost called her Veronica). With the winner being Victoria. I'm totally wrong. So, what do you think?


L Sass said...

Yeah, the first episode is always boring. I don't care much about the 33 girls during the casting... I just want to know who I should get invested in!

The only interesting parts of this ep were--Tyra doing the show girl routine and Tyra doing a mock bikini wax with the waxer girl.

B. Good said...

I watched, but I didn't watch. Lisa caught my eye, and so did Bianca. (I guess the "ethnic" girls stood out amongst the crowd.) I didn't think they were gonna pick Chantel, cuz she looked so "commercial". I think there was another girl who looked regular in person, but great on camera. Maybe it was that Victoria girl you mentioned. I can't remember.

I'll try to pay more attention next time. But like you said, "blah".