Tyra Banks Wants You To Hate Her

I'm pretty sure that we're all in agreement that Tyra Banks is completely off her rocker. She's done some crazy "acting" stunts on America's Next Top Model. Not to mention the fact that she has herself convinced that she can squint and make herself look friendlier.

However, last night, she went from eccentric to Bat Shit CrAzY.

Really, Tyra? A meat packing plant? For photos? Um, k. And also, hammer out some meat and make the girls wear it? And then complain because Aimee looks "like she's smelling something nasty" in the photo. Um, yeah, it's call ANIMAL CARCASS, you asshole.

I'm pretty sure that Tyra just wants to piss off PETA. We've had, what, three episodes and in one they wore fur and this one they wore meat. I'm pretty sure at least one of the girls (if not two) are vegan/vegetarian. It seems really bitchy to create a challenge that will be a real moral struggle for one person - let along just gross. I don't think I saw anyone who was all, "wow! what pretty meat! I can rock it!"

So yeah, ANTM was more painful than usual. But at least Amis is gone. Oh! and I told you that since I liked Allison so much she was gonna turn into a bitch. lol I'm really leaning towards Kelly Kapowski Kat, though she's too pretty and sexy to actually win it.

Maybe Tyra should seriously look into a show called, "America's Next Top Drag Queen" She's already halfway there with her current cast + Jaslene. You go Tyra!

America's Next Top Model!

So, who else was all excited about ANTM and was, subsequently disappointed by the lackluster season premier? ::waving my hand in the air::

I'm bored already. Although, you know that I love me a makeover - so I expect some tears and whatnot in a couple weeks. For now, the lineup is:

Janet - the girl with the pixie haircut who really just looks like an even less attractive version of Sarah from cycle 8.

Ambreal - who, in addition to having a fucked up name, thinks that wearing the legs of her jeans as leg warmers is cute. And yeah, that's pretty much all I got from her in 60 minutes.

Chantal - who has the tiniest waist ever, but that might be because she has birthing hips.

Heather - the girl with Asperger's, beautiful blue eyes, and who takes awesome pictures despite hunching her shoulders.

Saleisha - a cute girl, but nothing special

Victoria - who, at first I thought looked like Blossom, but who really looks like a slightly less attractive Paris from the Gilmore Girls. She's interesting looking, but reminds me of Brooke from cycle 7.

Mila - who has a very round face and who is like, really, really, super DUPER positive!

Jenah - who takes pretty pictures, but isn't very pretty in person - she almost looks like Mackenzie Phillips, who is DECIDEDLY VERY uncute.

Sarah - is a "regular" size model. Too big for "top model" and too small for "plus" (read: she looks like normal people!) She's cute, but a bit quirky.

Ebony - the black bitch that Tyra says she doesn't want to cast, and yet, somehow, she always does. Unfortunately, she's really pretty.

Lisa - the exotic (but not nekkid) dancer, who isn't that cute in person, but takes pretty good photos, and for some reason, is somewhat endearing. For a tramp.

Bianca - with the $25 weave and purple bangs. She's pretty too. I can't wait for her makeover

Kimberly - Is totally not remarkable. I don't remember much about her other than she screams to let off steam.

and you know, I could totally be wrong about all of this because, frankly, I wasn't paying much attention. The best note that I took in those 60 minutes was "Tyra is out of her damn mind" (please see: showgirl routine).

So, my guess for top three are: Heather, Bianca, and Victoria (see, I almost called her Veronica). With the winner being Victoria. I'm totally wrong. So, what do you think?