Wednesday, March 11, 2009


I am soliciting your opinions on a few areas of etiquette. So for those of you who are still out there? (hello, hello, hellooooo). Sound off.

1. Is text messaging the new acceptable way of inviting people to events like baby/bridal showers?

2. Is it acceptable for someone in your family to throw a shower? (like your mom or your sister?) Does your opinion change if it's an aunt or a cousin or a sister-in-law?

3. Do you get more than one shower? Say, you're having another baby two years after your first.

I'd love to hear your take.


Mrs. F said...

If I got an invitation to a shower via text message, I am not sure I would go. Birthday parties are a different story. I have received texts for birthday parties and still went to the party. I think the invitation should be a reflection of what kind of party you are going to have. It is the first thing that someone sees when they hear about said party.

As far as number two---I don't really care who is throwing the shower, just don't throw one for yourself...

Julie said...

I invite friends out to bars via texting. I am not sure that it's cool for a shower.

Also- family members are supposed to throw you showers. I think it depends on how close you are with them. I have never had any type of shower thrown for me... so I don't know.

And I think you only get one shower for your first baby.
But again. What do I know

heidikins said...


1. "hey, sorry for the mass text, but I'm just so busy with the wedding/baby plans. I'm having a shower at XYZ on XYZ. I'm registered at Target, Bed, Bad & Beyond, Macy's and Pottery Barn." Klassy. This is a party where you are asking for gifts, send a real invite for heaven's sake.

2. I think anyone can throw a shower, I threw them for my sisters and my friends.

3. I think if someone wants to throw you a shower (see above) you can have multiples. I don't think your closest friends/family who may attend multiples are obliged to give you multiple gifts, but a $15 dollar gift card every 2 years is a small price for a friend who is celebrating, ya know?

Great post! (Also, hi! I missed you!)


Erin said...

1. Absolutely not. That's basically soliciting gifts via text message.

2. Anyone can throw a shower.

3. I think you can have as many showers as people want to throw for you...just don't expect people to always buy the big gifts.

Carrie said...

1. Totally tacky. I wouldn't go if I didn't get an invitation. It would make me feel like you forgot about sending me an invitation.

2. Anyone can throw a shower. If you are talking wedding. Your friends will most likely have your bachlorette party and your family should throw you a shower. And your friends will be welcome to the family shower but shouldn't bring dildo's and such. LOL And it should matter if grandma or aunt Bessie throws a shower. That just means you are special.

3. I think you can have as many as you want. New baby means new things. Hey, I was the second born and I hope I got new things. And as for wedding parties, sure. My step father-in-law has also paid for 3 weddings for his wittle girl.

I also agree with Ms. F. If you don't think anyone is throwing one, ask your mom and she will surely get a fried to do it or will do it herself.

audrey said...

1. I think text messaging is an acceptable way to request someone's address so you may mail them a proper invitation.

2. I think it's frowned upon for an immediate family member to throw a bridal shower, but okay for the less-immediate members like aunts/cousins. Don't know if the same rule goes for baby showers, since my mom is usually very particular about those types of etiquette and she had no hesitations about teaming up with me to throw my brother and his wife a baby shower.

3. I don't see any reason why not. I think with a second kid, assuming the mom still has all the basics from the first, more themed showers are done. Like everyone brings their favorite children's book as a gift...stuff like that.

Mrs. F said...

I missed number three on my first comment.

I had two babies in a very short period of time (they are 16.5 months apart). I was thrown a shower for each child. After all, little girls can not wear their big brothers layettes, nor can you write in the same baby book for 2 kids. Heh.

I am of the opinion that each baby gets it's own shower, but they do get smaller with each baby.

b.good said...

1) Text msg is NOT acceptable for baby/bridal shower invites. Neither is an evite. Not if you really want them to show up.

2) I'm not sure on the rules of who should and should not throw the shower.

3) Again, not sure on the "rules" here. I guess each baby should get a shower, but I agree that they will probably be smaller and smaller down the line.

Midwest Mommy said...

Very interesting quesitons, I had to check out everyone's comments to see what they thought.
On the baby shower thing. I think it is ok if there is a huge age gap between kids or a unique circumstance or just throwing a smaller more intimate shower. I had a friend who had 4 huge showers with her first, huge. She basically got everything Babies R Us had in stock. Two years later she was pregnant again (another boy) and re-registered for everything again. I honestly thought it was tacky to be registering for all new strollers and gear only 24 months after your first shower. Is that wrong or is it just me? I love buying a new baby a gift but all new gear?

Vanessa said...

Chiming in way late on this, but here goes:

1)no it is not ok to invite to an event like baby shower by text. You send a proper, meaning paper, invitation.

2)Yes, someone in the same family can throw a shower for another family member.

3)Yes, you can have more than one baby shower. I say you can even have more than one for the SAME baby. Example, one in your hometown if you've moved far away and one in your current town. Or one at work and one for everyone else. I certainly don't think people should be expected to attend more than one if you are having multiple showers.

misguided mommy said...

Okay for number one.

Number two. Traditionally the maid of honor throws your shower, but in my case some OVERBEARING moms might take over. However, I feel like who ever loves you enough to throw you a shower should! Even if that means you have more then one.

and three. Yes you do! I had two kids two years apart. The first time we had a HUGE shower with games and baby food tasting etc. The second shower was more of a gathering with some food and just chatter. People did not have to bring a gift, it was just a chance for them to see me pregnant and hang out before I got sucked up into busy new mommy life.